Stories From Us: Angela Long

“I feel like I'm more Canadian than anything else, but there’s still a part of me that holds onto being Chinese—it’s a weird balance.”

That’s how Angela Long, a grade 11 student attending St. Mildred’s-Lightbourn School in Ontario, began her story. Born in Mississauga, Angela’s life has been a complex journey of learning to embrace both the culture she was raised in and the one passed down from her Chinese parents.

The complexities of growing up in a culturally mixed household were central to Angela’s story. Her parents’ journey began in China and eventually moved to Canada where Angela was born. For Angela, that heritage was never directly experienced— her connection to Chinese culture is more theoretical, existing through family stories and second-hand experiences. In the interview, she explained, "I can describe my parents' journey for you, sure. Basically, my parents kind of had an arranged marriage because my paternal grandpa and grandma, they were professors, and my grandpa was also a martial artist, and he taught my mom martial arts. Then he was like, 'Oh my god, she should marry my son!'"

Language, naturally, became one of the primary points of the conversation. Angela grew up speaking Mandarin with her grandparents, who cared for her when she was a toddler, but her grasp of the language shifted as she adjusted to life in Canada. In many cases, she recounted moments that left a significant impact, such as when a classmate ridiculed her lunch, making her feel ashamed of her cultural food. "This little boy once told me that my purple yam looked like poo, and I never brought it again after that."

"I didn’t celebrate Halloween or Christmas when I was younger, and I never had birthday parties or sleepovers," she said.

Though she faced a steep cultural learning curve, Angela adapted over time. But as she got older, her parents gradually loosened the reins, allowing her to experience these “Canadian” milestones. Still, there are some traditions she never got to experience. 

"Lunar New Year at school is the worst. Everyone else gets to wear their cultural clothes, but I never had any. I’d just wear my uniform and feel like I didn’t belong."

The tension between being Chinese and being Canadian is something Angela wrestles with, not only in her personal life but also within her social circles. 

"There are two types of Chinese kids, you know? There’s the Chinese Canadians, who grew up here and are more Canadian, and then there are the international students, who moved here later and still hold onto a lot of the Chinese culture. I kind of fall somewhere in between. I’m not fully one or the other."

That feeling of being “in-between” is reflected in how she navigates her identity. Angela described how her Chinese roots sometimes feel distant because her family didn’t engage deeply in traditional customs. 

"My dad loves China, and I wish I could connect more to it, but we don’t celebrate much. On Chinese New Year, we just have a hotpot, and that’s about it."

Interestingly, her Mandarin classes in high school reignited her interest in her heritage. 

"Taking Mandarin helped me feel proud of being Chinese again," she reflected. "I even got to bring Tanghulu to class once, and that was such a cool experience to share a part of my culture with everyone." 

Yet, despite these moments of reconnection, Angela recognizes that her identity is more aligned with Canada. 

"I love being Chinese, but I’m definitely going to be more Canadian. I don’t even know when the Chinese holidays are!"

The conversation also touched on how Angela deals with the external pressures of balancing both worlds. 

"When I was younger, I tried so hard to be like everyone else. I remember refusing to eat my dumplings and asking for bread instead just so I could fit in."

But as she grew older, Angela found comfort in accepting herself. 

"Now, I don’t care as much. I’ve realized that I can be Canadian and still hold onto the parts of being Chinese that matter to me."

Angela’s story also reveals the silent struggles of many second-generation immigrants. Growing up, she often felt pressure from both sides— to be Canadian enough at school and Chinese enough at home. 

"I feel like I gave up too much of my Chinese culture when I was younger, and now I regret it. But at the same time, it’s hard to reclaim something you never fully had."

As the interview wound down, Angela was asked what advice she would give to others going through similar struggles. Her answer was simple yet profound:

"Honestly, don’t worry about it too much. This stuff isn’t going to determine the rest of your life. Your identity will come together naturally. You just have to be comfortable with who you are."

The loss of language and the accompanying sense of alienation is a familiar experience for many first-generation immigrant children. A study from Frontiers in Education notes how immigrant families often struggle to pass on their language and traditions to younger generations, which can strain cultural identity and familial bonds. Another article from Psychology Today highlights the pressures second-generation immigrants face in balancing assimilation with their parents' cultural expectations, often resulting in stress, guilt, and identity conflicts as they feel forced to choose between fitting into one culture and rejecting the other.